Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
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