She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
