your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
