what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
