these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
