Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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