Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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