She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
