small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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