Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
