I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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