I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
