I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
