Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
