Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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