I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
When did angry sex become our thing?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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