Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
