super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
