The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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