How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Randomize
