I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
