the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You made out with two different species that night
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
