Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
