Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
