I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
