i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
