ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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