I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
