We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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