Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize