are you still at the devil's house?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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