The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Operation Purity has been aborted
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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