So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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