Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
