I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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