Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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