just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
