shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
my being single is dangerous.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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