Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
my poor anus
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
