Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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