were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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