you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
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