well most of my day revolves around power hour
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize