I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Randomize
