You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
