he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize