Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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