Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
