i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
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