I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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