Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
