let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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