He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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