You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
