when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Did you pee in the oven last night??
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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