I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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